A Lifestyle of Glamour and Royalty

I've had my share of bad relationships, but this ONE relationship stood out for the longest until I got over it! This one relationship was the WORST I mean the WORST relationship I've ever experienced. I don't ever wish what i went through to any of my enemies. He took my self-confidence, my intelligence, my pride, my happiness, my focus and destroyed it ALL. I "DUMBED" myself down to make him like me more, but he didn't! Through time I got it all back and MORE! :)

We were together from the beginning of 2006 to the very end of 2007, I think. It was just horrible, but I didn't realize that until I later excused myself from the relationship. I was young and dumb, I didn't notice that I was being emotionally abused by someone I "so-called" loved. BUT I can say I learned SO much from that past relationship, both negatively and positively. At that time, I think I accepted the fact that he just didn't respect me at all. He was a constant liar but I gave him chance after chance because at that time I didn't know any better.

That dude had a MILLION and one "sisters" and " female best friends" to the point where it was just outrageous. Lmao, seriously though. When I think about it I can't do anything but laugh at myself. Like he really played me to the left, but I never just got up the strength to say GOODBYE until I couldn't take it anymore.

I think I became friends with most of his "sisters" not knowing that he was f*cking or already f*cked damn near all of them. LOL. I was a little slow back then. It was so crazy that one time, Me and his two OTHER girlfriends had a full conversation about he was playing all of us. Every time he cheated, I eventually found out and took him back BEFORE the night was over.

This ONE incident stood out to me though!...This took place when Myspace was a trend and popping. We had each other login information. One day I decide to log into his myspace but I couldn't. I tried multiple times, it didn't work. So, I called him up and I asked him did he change his password. He replied, "Naw, what you talkin' bout?" I said, "They won't let me log on into your Myspace." He goes, "Oh, well I ain't do nothing to it just keep trying."

{To let you know this went on for a month and a half!!!}

My big sister talked some sense to me! She said, "When you feel like someone is lying or being sneaky just play the suspect, then most times they'll feel bad and tell the TRUTH."

And thats exactly what I did. But at the time I thought it was truth until we officially broke up later on that year of 2007.

This is how the conversation went (not exact):

Me: Hey Snoop, I got something to tell you.

Snoop: Whats up? Go head.

Me: I cheated on you last night and I feel so bad. You're such a great boyfriend man I can't believe I did that.

{SILENCE}

Snoop: Look, I got something I need to tell you. Remember when I said I didn't change my Myspace password??

Me: Yeah

Snoop: Well, I did. I changed it because this girl keep sending me msgs about me being her child daddy. I don't know the girl either. And I ain't want you to see that because you know you flip out and shit.

Me: (Thinking hard) Ok, but why would some RANDOM girl send YOU out of all the dudes on Myspace a msg about being her baby's daddy??

Snoop: Well, I did sleep with her but that was before we met.

Me: (Crying) and took him back AGAIN!!

Months after that, Snoop told the truth and said the girl is pregnant with his child. But another month, after that he said the girl got into a car accident and the baby died! An you know what I did? I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF! lol

A month or two later he pulled another incident which affected my life! I mean guy took me to Hell and back again. Lol.

I was a junior or senior in my first period class and I had a HUGE midterm. Me and Snoop broke up that yesterday night. Before first period started Snoop texted me saying, "I can't live without you, I'm going to kill myself. Don't nobody love me and out of everybody I thought you did." (Now to remind y'all, I've never been told that or been in that type of relationship until then.) He said he was cutting himself! I immediately call my mom and tell her. She was like I'm quite sure he's just messing with you, focus on your midterm and classes! For some reason I didn't believe her because I THOUGHT I loved him and it was vice versa.

The bell rang, meaning it was time to get in class. During class, I told my best friend what was going on because I started to panic very badly. I texted Snoop, but his "so-called" Aunt texted me back from his phone. His Aunt said that Snoop cut himself really bad to the point where he was losing a lot blood and the helicopter flew in to take him to Grady Hospital. LMAO!! And at that time, I thought it was true! Can y'all believe that?! Just CRAZY!

To make the long story short, I FAILED my midterm and the class because of Snoop. And I found out he didn't cut himself nor went to the hospital! He was with one of his "sisters." But I NEVER understood why he did those things to me. Like, if you didn't want to be with me why couldn't he just say that? Like what was so wrong with me? But whatever, f*ck it all I'm beyond over that now. LOL

A random number popped up on my phone last night, so I answered. The call was no longer than 4 mins. lol. (I mean I have been applying for so many jobs, I have to answer any random number just in case.) This is the conversation:

Me: Hello

Person: You know who this is?

Me: Clearly I don't! You don't call someone phone and ask that question. That's stupid! (My stomach cringed and I immediately felt like I had to vomit because I already recognized the voice.)

Person: Man this Snoop, what's been going on?

Me: After 7 years, WHY do you still have or know my number?!

Snoop: I been memorized it and every time you told me to delete it I never did hahaha (he laughs). But nah, I'm good though. You I got two sons now?

Me: Oh thats good. I have a son as well.

Snoop: Yea, remember when I told you the girl who I got pregnant got into that accident and our child was killed? Well I lied, he 5 years old.

Me: Yeeeaaaa, later in life I figured you lied about everything.

Snoop: Well you crossed my mind so I decided to give your number a call. I just wanted to say sorry about everything I ever did to you, you never deserved it. You were a great girl but I never paid attention to it.

Me: Thanks for the apology, everything you did made me a better person. I'm quite sure if we were together, I wouldn't have met the love of my life. So thank you!

Snoop: Alright. (Phone hangs up)

I never felt better!!! That was the official closer of that chapter with him. All I ever wanted was an apology from him when I actually cared. Years have passed by and he has NEVER crossed my mind!

The moral of this post is that everything that happens, happens for the better!! Of course, you don't notice it at that time because you're actually in the midst of it, but when time passes you'll realize it! My parents seen me at my worst because I even turned my back on them just to be with him. They seen me LOSE myself in him. Everyday I was miserable and hurt so it then became an everyday pattern with my life. When I hurt, my parents hurt.

Thats why when they see me happy or actually in love with someone, they shed tears. My dad always tell me, I deserve nothing but the best from this life.

To my females: Never think LESS of yourself. Love yourself more than anyone one else because that's all you have. Don't settle for anything unless YOU know that he/she is right for you!! Love you guys!

I apologize for the length of this blog post, but I just had to share it with y'all!!

Peace&&Love,

Chaily

My parents moved without me yesterday on their 12th anniversary. Well, 12th anniversary is an understatement because they've been faithfully committed to each other for 24 YEARS!! That is a very long period of time to be with just ONE person especially at a young age. When your heart beats for that one person, you don't need anyone else and never I mean NEVER give yourself the chance to hurt or leave the one that loves you for the one that doesn't give a damn about you (in the exact words of my mom).

It was such a heartbreaking moment for me because I've NEVER been without them. And if it was up to me, they would never have the chance to leave me!! I love them SO much, unconditionally. Their happiness is my happiness. I thank God for them.

She sent me this picture today after celebrating their anniversary yesterday. We had a heart to heart conversation today and I cried my eyes out, literally! I'm already sensitive so I cried looking at this picture. I never seen such love and happiness between two people. Throughout my life I can say that I know what real love is because they've shown me how to love. They look AMAZING!! My mom is like my sister/bestfriend! She gets her looks from me LOL.

OMG!!! I took this two nights ago. I have THREE main guys that have my heart in a bundle! Two of them are in this picture, it's missing my hubby. :( This is my son Kody and his "Papa" (granddaddy). This is so beautiful! I love them so much you guys! I shed a few tears at that very moment. Couldn't imagine life without them, seriously. #Priceless