Important Sayings

FIRST THING FIRST! "NEVER...I MEAN NEVER..BURN A BRIDGE THAT YOU HAVE TO CROSS OVER AGAIN!!" {Wise words of my great-grandmother Sally} 
Meaning: It means don't hurt a relationship that you might need later on in life. Don't cut off all means of escape or retreat. Also don't say or do something that is unforgivable!
For example, you quit your job and yell at your boss. Then you find another job that you really like only to find the boss is your former boss. Knowing that you yelled at him, you will most likely NOT get the job!

Secondly, I'm in LOVE with this little guy!! "A mother's love for her son is UNCONDITIONAL. It's so powerful!" Everything I do, it's only for him. I can honestly say, he's my little motivator. He's like a little energizer bunny!!! LOL, such a happy little boy. This is him today! He loves to put on brand new clothes and shoes. Kind of like his mommy LOL. Everyone talks about how I'm so attached with him but it's not my fault. And shouldn't all my parents be attached with their bundle of joy?? Yeeaahh, I thought so! Lol

ONE Crazy Friend...I Love You

I think every girl has that ONE for sure ride or die chick!! That one friend whom you KNOW you can't live without!! Well, I do. I call her Jazz, for short as her nickname. I've known her since my middle school days. When we met, we clicked as best friends! We've never turned our backs on each other and now we're 22 going on 23! I can call her for anything and she is always down to ride. She's that funny, crazy type of chick. She puts the "LAUGH" in LAUGHTER! LOL. Seriously tho, she has always been there and kept it beyond real with me. I gotta show her some love. So I dedicate this blog to our friendship! SO, I've included some pics of us sharing our good times and some in the past!!

Afraid To Sleep

It's 6:18 AM and I seriously am afraid to sleep. It's storming bad and I can't sleep. It sucks being up by myself especially when I actually wanna be sleep. I feel horrible!! The very moment when I crossover from being awake to falling asleep, I completely STOP breathing and violently wake up gasping for air. It feels like that "falling feeling" you get in bad dreams, only much more intense. This has never happened to me before and I'm beyond scared. It has happened every 5-10 minutes and it's frustrating!! I just wanna cry. It feels like someone has smothered me with a pillow the minute I fall asleep. So I haven't really been sleep at all!! 


I wonder what is causing this to happen?? Because I'm SO tired but yet scared to try to go back to sleep. During these episodes, I have to monitor my breathing while I fall asleep, which is very annoying. You guys I don't know what to do besides cry! I'm now sitting in my bed watching tv to force myself not to fall asleep. I don't wanna take any chances of not waking up! Please pray for me for the BETTER!




Peace&&Love,
Chaily

Hilarious Cousins!!

OK, besides all the BS going on in my life. I want you guys to continue to support my cousins, Phillip && Emmanuel's "CREATIVE" videos and what not. They're really crazy in a hilarious way. Just take time out and view their videos on YouTube!!! They're blowing UP!! I'm so proud of them. Who knew that putting one funny video up would get them MILLIONS of FANS?? I didn't! But it did! So here is there number one video:

LMAOOOOOO! I love them guys so freakin much!!!!

How Many Times

Body trembling and warm, feeling like I have nothing. God is continuously taking the people that mean so much to me away from me. I seriously don't care about nothing and could care less if I lose anything else. I feel like I can't go on. What is wrong with me? I can't help the way I feel, but this isn't me! I have a REAL "fuck it" attitude and it's not going anywhere any time soon. Sorry! If I treated people the same way they treat me, there will be some angry fuckers in this world.


When you go through so much shit, all of your saved up wishes start to release themselves. I have to start expecting less from people and that's sad because I always give people the benefit of doubt. I still don't expect people to do shit for me because expectations lead to nothing but disappointments! Remember that! 


One thing I dislike is when someone say, "Girl, the older Kody gets the more he looks like his dad." That literally makes me sick to my stomach!! And I always say, "PLEASE, don't remind me!" Having a baby was a bad way to start, but at least I take care of him and make sure he has whatever he needs. But my son has shown me a strength within myself that I honestly didn't know existed! #proudmommy 


And don't you hate when someone hurts or betray you, in the end you end up apologizing and don't know why when you did nothing wrong..AT ALL!! I always end up learning things the extremely hard way.


Also, if you have to try to change the one you love into someone you want them to be, then just don't be with them! It's beyond simple. 
My body is so numb from all of the pain and it's only so much pain I can take, ya kno. I came in this world alone and I'm going to leave this world alone. That's the way I see it. And it's not my emotions talking, this is some real shit I'm writing to y'all. 


My little brother (my fav) just called me and said these words to me, "You're a beautiful young woman AND there isn't a person on this earth that should EVER make you doubt that. ONE DAY it'll all work out for the best, don't stress it. I love you." That brought tears to my eyes y'all.


Peace&&Love,
Chaily

Less Than Perfect

Sitting here thinking about everything taking place and I feel less than perfect. Then something told me to listen to my girl Pink's song "Fuck'n Perfect" It made me feel a little better. Love her! Took the feelings right out of my heart and soul!!

Blah Blah

How can you feel so alone when everyone YOU love is around you??? Idk, but it's possible because that's how I'm feeling. Idk you guys, I just really don't want to be bothered. I'm pretty much done with everybody!!