Body trembling and warm, feeling like I have nothing. God is continuously taking the people that mean so much to me away from me. I seriously don't care about nothing and could care less if I lose anything else. I feel like I can't go on. What is wrong with me? I can't help the way I feel, but this isn't me! I have a REAL "fuck it" attitude and it's not going anywhere any time soon. Sorry! If I treated people the same way they treat me, there will be some angry fuckers in this world.
When you go through so much shit, all of your saved up wishes start to release themselves. I have to start expecting less from people and that's sad because I always give people the benefit of doubt. I still don't expect people to do shit for me because expectations lead to nothing but disappointments! Remember that!
One thing I dislike is when someone say, "Girl, the older Kody gets the more he looks like his dad." That literally makes me sick to my stomach!! And I always say, "PLEASE, don't remind me!" Having a baby was a bad way to start, but at least I take care of him and make sure he has whatever he needs. But my son has shown me a strength within myself that I honestly didn't know existed! #proudmommy
And don't you hate when someone hurts or betray you, in the end you end up apologizing and don't know why when you did nothing wrong..AT ALL!! I always end up learning things the extremely hard way.
Also, if you have to try to change the one you love into someone you want them to be, then just don't be with them! It's beyond simple.
My body is so numb from all of the pain and it's only so much pain I can take, ya kno. I came in this world alone and I'm going to leave this world alone. That's the way I see it. And it's not my emotions talking, this is some real shit I'm writing to y'all.
My little brother (my fav) just called me and said these words to me, "You're a beautiful young woman AND there isn't a person on this earth that should EVER make you doubt that. ONE DAY it'll all work out for the best, don't stress it. I love you." That brought tears to my eyes y'all.
Peace&&Love,
Chaily
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